Monday, 21 January 2013

I am rusting...but with good reason!

Ok so I haven't run properly since June when I did Hull 10k in my worst 10k ever of 1:08.  This was after my worst ever 5k time of 34:02

BUT I do have a very good reason - meet Mini Murph, our little clomid miracle.


After a very long wait, disappointed months, lots of tears, blood tests, horrible tests and what felt like hundreds of hospital appointments we are having a baby.  EDD 10th Feb 2013.  Have no words for how happy we are.

I did try to keep up with the running, but after Hull 10k, which was the same week as we found out I had really bad stomach cramps and it really put me off.  Then pregnancy stuff kicked in and I felt too sleepy to do anything never mind run.  I went once with hubs and I was just that paranoid about baby that I hated every minute of it.  So the running is hold until after he/she is born.  Which should be soon as I am 37 weeks. 

I do plan on getting back to running as soon as possible after giving birth.  I do also need address the 2st 10lbs weight gain too.  I have entered the ballot for the great north run and I plan on doing park runs every other week - husband has signed up for Yorkshire Marathon so is now a 'serious runner' so we'll take turns.  I have actually missed running, never ever thought I would say that and actually mean it.  Its always felt like something I thought I should say after missing a few runs.  I haven't run now for nearly 8 months and it seems like far too long.

As much as I am desperate to get back out there and pound the pavement, first I need to concentrate on being mummy for a bit.  I'll have a baby who needs me and a husband who is training for a marathon who will no doubt need a little help with stuff and fitting in his training.  So I am happy for a bit to let my introduction back into running to be fairly slow.  I have waited a long time to have this baby.

I still want to run a half every year and I still have dreams of running a marathon, I also have dreams being a great mum, that one take priority for now.

So rusting a bit longer is ok with me.

I'll be back with updates !!

Monday, 14 May 2012

Well knock me down me a feather...

I ran Leeds Half Marathon in 2hrs 18minutes!!!  5 minutes faster than Bristol.  To say I am amazed is an understatement.

So here are the details:

Race morning felt very different to Bristol.  I actually thought there was a chance I would be last.  Normally I say this and it's not really a genuine fear, more just something you say.  But this time I actually believed it.  Lack of training made me very nervous.

We got to Leeds, went to the loo (nothing new here, races make me need to wee more.  This being the 6th trip since getting out of bed) met up with out friends who were running it too and began the walk over to Millenium Square.  All chatting about how we had all entered the ballot for London and how good it would be if we all got a place...

Queued ready to start, wished Mr Murph and our friends good luck (was his first!) and we were off.

Miles 1-3 past in a bit of a blur.  I just kept reminding myself not to go too fast, I hadn't run further than 10 miles since Bristol, I needed to take it easy.  Slightly hilly too, so not my favourite.

Miles 4 - I think this where I panicked.  It was (if I remember the miles correctly) where the worst hill was.  I took a walk break, looked at my watch, swore at myself for needing to walk after just 4 miles, had a drink I'd collected half way between 3&4 and carried on. 

My legs were numb running down the hill, I am very surprised I didn't fall over.  After the disappointment of having to stop and a few stern words to myself in my head I seemed to find my mojo.  My breathing got better and I just focused on the end.

My favourite miles were 8-11.  I saw a few people I knew who were out supporting on the way.  My legs felt better and the music on my ipod was the same songs that had got me through the first few miles of Bristol.  I was doing my mix between running and dancing again.  Quick check of the watch and I hit the 2 hour mark just after 11 miles.  Rough calculations told me that if I did 2 ten minute miles I should beat my Bristol time my 2 minutes. 

Suddenly with a new aim and with no time to actually doubt myself I was off.  I decided I wouldn't check my watch until I saw the finish line.  I didn't want anything to put me off.  I turned the ipod up as loud as it would go, but I took 1 ear out so I could still hear the crowd.  Passing mile 12 I was so tempted to check my watch but I managed to stop myself.  Then as I got close to the end and saw one of my friends.  He cheered me on and asked my time 'tell you at the end' I said and carried one.  Finally I could see the finish.  I was so excited - this was a slight hill which at the start I had said I was dreading.  But when it came to running up the 'dreaded hill' I didnt care or notice it.  I almost forgot to check my watch, I only remembered when I saw the finish clock.  I kept it going until I was sure I had actually finished, 2hrs 18 minutes.  I flung my arms in the air and did a little jump around.  It was over, I had survived.  And my 10 minute miles were closer to 9 minutes, after 11 miles I am well and truly amazed at myself.  I can't believe I managed it.

My husband (who finished in 1hr 50) was waiting on my right after the end.  I ran to him and hugged him.  Then checked his watch for his time (I always do this before asking how he is lol).  Then I remembered to ask how he felt, we went to get my good bag and then waited for the last of our friends to finish.

We all chatted about our favourite/least favourite bits and then headed for home.  Chatting on the way about our aches, pains and blisters.  London?!  Em, lets just say we are hoping that some of us get a place, but no one wanted it to be them!!

So I have now done 2 half marathons.  Who would have thought the girl that 2 years ago couldn't run for a bus now runs half marathons 'for fun'.  Two very different halfs - Bristol slow and steady incline at the beginning but a killer hill at mile 10 and another bad one at 11.  Leeds with incline pretty much straight away and killer hills at mile 4ish.  But then the srcond half is down hill or flat.  Think i prefer Leeds, get the horrible bit out of the way.  But Bristol was a nicer place to run.  We spent alot time in Leeds on what I believe is a motor way slip road.

Lows:
Nearly crying when I had to walk so early on
The 'what time would I have got if I had actually trained' that people at work asked me today

Highs:
My hubs time - ok so not mine but I love him and I am so proud of him.  Plus he started running bcos I inspired him, so I take some of the credit!!
Doing it, I honestly believed after mile 4 I would probably have to walk the rest

Hmmmm what next?!

Friday, 11 May 2012

Trying to do too much...

I am hoping this is what is wrong with me.  I can't seem to stick to being good for more than 24 hours.  I am so annoyed at myself.

I am hard on myself, this makes me focus for a day and then I am back to feeling sorry for myself that I slip back into being terrible.

My week this week - Monday long run, sw stuff, catching up with friends, cleaning and then cooking.  Tuesday, worked 9-5 then covered a sw class from 6.30pm - 8.30pm ish, home, food and then bed.  Wednesday, worked, helped out at sw again for 3 hours (went straight from work), then met hubs in pub to watch football, my dinner was a pint of guinness and a packet of crisps!  Home at 10.30ish, shower and bed.  Thursday, work, my own sw, home at 9.30pm, washed hair, bed.  Today, work, visiting my friend, some sw work, cleaning and finally a rest!!  Tomorrow I have a gym induction at 9.30am, then my friends little girls bday party.  Girls night on Saturday, not drinking for me as I have a HALF MARATHON the next day.  I am writing it like that bcos I am shocked its here so soon.  I am so unprepared. 

If I can finish in 3 hours or less I would be happy.  Well actually thats a lie, I wont be happy but I'll have done it.  I did Bristol in 2hrs 23 minutes and I was so pleased.  No way that will happen this weekend.  The longest I have run is 10 miles the only thing in my favour is in my head I can do it.... watch this space.

Also worried as I started taking clomid on Wednesday, I was going to wait but my body had other ideas.  So just hoping the side effects keep away until Sunday is out of the way.  Also I plan on a few weeks of having some me and hubs time, we have hardly seen each other this week. 

Back to normal would be nice...but actually what is normal!!!

Wednesday, 11 April 2012

Take 6?!

Right I have now idea how many times I have tried and failed recently to get back into this and failed big time but take 6 feels about right.

I have spent alot of time recently feeling sorry for myself. Not really for anything in particular. The main thing getting me down at the minute is ttc. I am just so bored waiting around for it to happen. Someone made a comment the other day, its something totally stupid really. But when we got married our friends joked that they would put bets on when we would have a baby. They all lost money at some point on this bet. And we were discussing this over easter and one of them said 'well yeah since you had decided to do everything else quite quickly we assumed babies would be next. You need to get a move on really.' Now I know this was a joke and the person has no clue what is actually going on and that we're even having problems. But I just can't shake off the feeling down that if we didn't have these problems we would have a baby or be pregnant by now most likely. All feelings that I never expected to have. My sister is having problems and its been as few years and all the way along I have said she gets too emotional about it and puts herself under too much pressure. Now I feel like such a bitch that I ever said those things to her. At the time I didn't understand how difficult it actually is to switch off from this. It completely takes over your life, brain and all plans that I make now seem to be (unknown to most people) around hospital appointments. I am sick of having bloods tests, questions about my periods (or lack of) and even having to go.

The thing I feel most bad about at the moment is the 'is it all really worth it' questions that I can't get out of my head. Deep down I know of course it is and we want this more than anything in the world. But when I have a bad day I just think giving up and getting more cats is the way we should be going, it's easier and less painful. We are happy, we could have amazing holidays and an amazing house. Then I remember just why we've gone this far and feel selfish for even thinking I didn't want any of it. I had never really questioned myself before on did I actually want children, I've always known I wanted them so to have these feelings now is bugging me. I know I do I just need to snap out it. Next appointment is 25th April so not long at all to wait, just hoping the end is insight.

My weight is another cause of upset. As of yesterday I weight 11st 4lbs. I am really struggling. Think it's a combination of things at the minute, PCOS symptoms, lack of motivation, moving stress and ttc. I seem to find every excuse to cheat. I am trying to fit in a pcos diet with sw which is proving difficult. Means I am using alot of my syns on food something I have never done before. Will keep going with it as I need to get some weight off. I promised myself I would see my wedding weight on the scales again, I had hoped before I got pregnant. Also told my sister once that if the doctor recommended she lose weight to get pregnant then she should do as he said....now its time to practice what I preech I suppose!

Running - a right off at the moment. I hurt my ankle then my knee. Hoping that Saturday I can get back to it. Went out yesterday but my knee hurts again.

Ripped in 30 - pass on this question!!

Plan for the week - just get back to it. I did it, I lost 4 stone, I ran a half marathon and I was once certain we would have a baby. Just need to find some PMA!

x

Monday, 26 March 2012

Getting back to it...

Again!
Feel like I am spending my life getting back to it. Not 100% sure what it is I am actually trying to get back to but ho hum.

Running hasn't been going as well as I would like, especially since we have a half marathon to run in about 8 week! eeeek that is very scary indeed.

But I did make myself run yesterday - 2 miles. Didn't break any records but I did it.

Then tonight at the gym I made myself do: (I have missed doing these!)

Distance - 5k
Time - 31 minutes
Speed - intervals 9.5km/h-12km/h
Calories - 366

So not my greatest run ever. And to make me even more annoyed my knee hurts. Think I did the side lunges wrong on RI30 yesterday...yes I am still on week 1!! Managed to do it yesterday but had to miss today with my knee. Hope its nothing major.

Off to see the fertility doctor tomorrow, this is very exciting but very scary too. Hopefully he has good news. And opeartion 'mini murph' will be underway.

Alot going on, mostly good. We might have a new house! This excites me alot, I love it. Perfect little cottage.

Life is mostly good :) x

Thursday, 8 March 2012

and so it begins....

Ripped in 30 days has officially started in the murph household. More on this later!

It has been a kind of a mixed bag diet and exercise wise. Will start with the good things:

Highs -
I ran my fastest 10k ever - 58 minutes 9 seconds
We signed up for Leeds half marathon
I also ran my fastest park run - 29 minutes

Lows -
My weight is up and down so I don't feel the benefit of the hard work running
We signed up for Leeds half - counting this a high and a low as I remember the agony of training last time. Also remember that hours spent running did nothing for the numbers I saw on the scale
My husband can run 10k in 48 minutes and 5k in 23! Think I am just going to have to learn to suck it up and deal with it.

I have a plan though. I have been researching runners diets and I am working on a way to bend slimming world to fit in with it. Don't think it would be a good example for a sw consultant to not follow the plan. I am sure it can be done, it just needs to be properly planned out.

So RI30 - I ache. BUT nowhere near as much as I feared. I am not expecting the same results as the person who inspired me to give it ago, I carry alot more weight in that area than she does. So I'll be happy to just see a reduction. We're booking a holiday on Saturday - motivaion I need hopefully to get my body bikini ready. Also in a nice shape for the baby I want to be growing in there by the end of 2012.

Will take my measurements and some more before photos today.

Aims for the next 30 days:

Carry on with Leeds Half training
RI30
Be on a runners diet
At least 4lbs lighter

Hmmmm wonder what I'll be posting in 30 days!

x

Monday, 13 February 2012

Back in the game day 1

And I survived!

Food was - green day -

Breakfast
30g fruit and fibre (HEB)
375ml skimmed milk (HEA)

Snack
Banana
Grapes

Lunch
Jacket potato
Beans
45g low fat cheddar (HEA)
Salad

Snack
Marks and Spencer Count on us sour cream and chive crisps - 4.5 syns - totally not worth it!!

Dinner
Quorn pieces
Noodles
Peppers
Onion

Snack
Satsuma

Fluid intake - 2L water, 3 x decaf tea, 2 x decaf coffee

Exercise -
2.1 mile run - 21 minutes, 264 cal, max speed 11.5k/ph
10 minutes cross trainer
50 sit ups

Excellet first day